Playtime: Don't Get Rid of Those Soft Toys - They're Actually Good for Development!

When Em was born, I couldn't believe how many soft toys we got as gifts and I remember thinking at the time - what on earth are we going to do with all of these? Well, fast forward almost 10 years and our soft toy collection has at least quadrupled in that time and doesn't look like shrinking any time soon!

Soft toys are great for development. Their sweet little faces and soft furry ways help encourage empathy, compassion and caring. They can also be a reassuring source of comfort for a child who is feeling sad or insecure. There are plenty of ways to encourage soft toy play.

For Babies 
Have a basket of 3 or 4 accessible for baby play time. Choose toys that do not have any loose bows or buttons that can fall off. It's great if the toys have smaller limbs or a tail that baby can grab and hold onto. Remember that babies will always put toys in heir mouth so make sure no bits of fur or fluff can come off.

Baby will practice using her fine motor skills grabbing her soft toys and will feel happy and secure looking at friendly, kind faces. She may also enjoy kissing and cuddling the toys and older babies might even start to like to feed them a bottle or some pretend food. You could also add a soft baby brush so she could brush her fur.

For Toddlers
Soft toys are great play companions for toddlers. They can be put into bags, prams, boxes, carts, baskets and ride on cars and taken out again. This is one of toddlers' favourite things to do.

A toddler will play out social situations with her soft toys and help to look after them. This works on her empathy, compassion and caring skills. Playing out social situations also helps your toddler to make sense of her social world and her place in it.

For preschoolers and older children
Preschoolers and older children will enjoy constructing entire imaginative worlds for their soft toys. Your preschooler will perhaps start by making voices and acting out a role using the toy. With this kind of play, the toys are the centre of the imaginative process. They will need props or accessories which can be created by your child, bringing in the possibility of a range of art and craft activities too. Over the years we have made teddy jewellery, back packs,  shoe box beds, tissue box cars, school books, invitations, hats, clothes, just to name a few.

Your preschooler or older child will work on his social and emotional skills during this kind of imaginative play activity. He will play out social situations he has been in and will use the toys to play out different outcomes. By giving his toys different personalities, he is learning to look at situations through other people's eyes and reinforcing what he knows about caring. Making and creating props and accessories for toys works on fine motor skills as well as literacy and numeracy skills.

Fun Soft Toy moments

Some teddy bear jewellery as modeled for a PP photo shoot

Teddies in an indoor tent

A soft toy, a shoe box and a ramp - hours of fun

A homemade shoe box bed  - Good night!

'Focus on' Friday: Great Behaviour Guidance Resources

Behaviour Guidance is a tricky thing to negotiate. I've found it one of my biggest challenges as teacher and a parent. A great way to start wading your way through this topic is to do some research in two different areas -

1. How children develop - so you know where your child is at developmentally and what to expect of their behaviour
2. What different approaches there are out there to managing behaviour. If you're having a particular issue, it's great to research that specifically too.
   

It's important to find a 'fit' for you and your family when it comes to behaviour guidance. You need to feel completely comfortable with what you're doing for it to be effective.

Here is a great checklist for social and emotional milestones in the early years. It's a great place to start when thinking about your expectations.

The Raising Children Network has an enormous amount of info on what to expect in the Early Years.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website (from the US) also has some great info on milestones.

For info about Behaviour Guidance techniques, again, the Raising Children Network has some great info.

I just love Dr Tanya Byron's advice, I think she has so much common sense. She is the psychologist who advises families in the BBC series "The House of Tiny Tearaways". If you google her, you'll find some great links.

I think Michael Grose gives some great common sense parenting advice too, but he mainly focuses on older children (primary school and above. He has a great website called Parenting Ideas and I highly recommend subscribing to his newsletter.

My favourite book about the topic is "Understanding Children" by Jeanette Harrison. This book has really helped me as a teacher and a mum.

I've just discovered Louise Porter. I read this transcript of an interview she did, here, back in 2002. Have a read and see what you think. I think she makes some really good points but I'm not entirely convinced yet. I've just put a hold on some of her books at the library. I'm looking forward to reading more.

What great "Behaviour Guidance" resources have you found?

Ways to Get Kids to Co-operate More

Wouldn't a bit more co-operation be nice? With some children (my Em included), co-operation doesn't come easy, so I've needed a repertoire of tricks and talents to motivate her to go with the flow. I thought I'd share some today:

Distraction -

It's amazing how well a "come over here and have a look at this" can work when a child is building up to a tantrum and getting to the point where they'll refuse to do anything you ask. My other distraction favourites are putting something funny on my head, pretending to eat a teddy bear, foot or shoe or pulling a funny face similar to the angry or sad one in front of me. I've always found that this technique works way better with Ed, who is more easy-going, then with Em, who is much more head strong and way harder to distract.

Keeping Kids Busy -

If kids have something to do, they are for more patient and easy-going than if they're bored and waiting. When the kids were little I would always time my grocery shops at lunch time, so they could sit in the trolley and eat their lunch while I would get my shopping done. Going to restaurants, I'd have a small bag full of things for them to do while we were waiting. Sometimes it was as simple as a tic tac box, a car, a notepad and a cream container with a hole cut n the top and some rocks inside, but I always made sure the activity fit where the kids were at and was easy and fun to do.

Making Your Communication Count -

Getting down to your child's level and asking them to look at your face when you are talking can make a huge difference to how what you are saying is received. I like to hold their hand or gently put my hand on their shoulder too, to give them some sort of physical contact. Really taking the time to let them know that talking to them is important to you helps kids to value what you are saying. It also lets you know your child is really listening. It's great to get them to repeat back to you what they've heard too.

Mind Your Language -

Don't use too many words. Keep your language very simple. Don’t go into lengthy explanations or detailed accounts of what is going on. Use the same words every time you want a particular thing to happen. Simply say ‘Stop’ when you want them to stop what they are doing. Say “listen’ when you really want them to focus on what you are saying.

Break Down Tasks -

Children can find tasks very overwhelming. They are yet to develop the skills to break down a task into small, achievable blocks. Instead of asking a child to eat their dinner, ask them to eat their carrots, then their meat, then their potato. Instead of asking them to pack up their toys, ask them to put their dolls away, then their cars, then their blocks. Instead of asking them to get dressed, ask them to put on their singlet, then their t-shirt, then their jeans. And try not to say general things like "Be good". Instead say "when we're at the doctors', you need to keep your voice quiet and stay close to mummy".

Always Have a Consequence You're Prepared to Follow Through With -

This sometimes requires a little forward thinking, it's hard to think of things in the heat of the moment. It's great if the consequence somehow directly relates to what is going on. In the above scenario for example, if your child isn't "keeping her voice quiet and staying close to mummy", you could remind her once - "Remember, at the doctors, you need to keep your voice quiet and stay close to me". Remind her again but with a consequence this time - "Listen, if you cant remember to stay close to me, you'll have to come and sit on my lap". And then follow through by bringing her to sit on your lap. After a couple of minutes, you might like to let her play quietly again, reminding her that if she can't, she'll need to come back on your lap again. A consequence isn't a punishment. I believe you need to give kids a chance to regulate their own behaviour and then help them if they can't manage on their own.

Make It Fun -

Appealing to a child's sense of play and fun is a great way to get things done and is one I use a lot. If we all need to go somewhere, we hop aboard the "Butler Bus". For a quiet, hassle free dinner we pretend we're in a cafe or restaurant and I'm the waiter and the kids are dining by themselves. When we have to be quiet, we pretend to be little mice. To get dressed or run toys to their room I'll time them and see if they can beat their personal best and I've written before about our packing up games. If you make it fun, kids don't even realise they're doing it.

Acknowledge Feelings -

Feelings can be very overwhelming for young children. Sometimes, they don’t really want to upset you, cause trouble or make a scene, it’s just that right at that minute, they are feeling something so intensely that they can’t control themselves. If you can try to be a little understanding when this happens, it can take you a long way. Try acknowledging your child’s feelings “I know this is making you really cross/upset/frustrated, you want to stay and play, but it’s time to go, we can come back on the weekend” or “I know you don’t really love eating vegetables, but they have so many vitamins and minerals in them that are good for your body”. Acknowledging how your child must be feeling gives them a little validation and makes them feel a little bit better about the situation. There’s nothing worse then when nothing is going your way and no-one understands how you feel.

Having Something to Look Forward to -

If I have errands to run, I'll always leave something til last that the kids will enjoy doing. This could be, choosing a DVD from the DVD shop, looking at the toy department, choosing something special for lunchboxes, getting a tasty bun for afternoon tea. That way, they look forward to it and are more likely to co-operate along the way. On the rare occasion they don't co-operate with the few things I need to get done, we simply don't get to do the fun thing at the end.

Taking Time Out -

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a situation that has gone to far is to have some time out. I know not everyone is a fan of "time-out", but I think it depends on how you use it. If a situation gets me fired up, I like to remove myself from it, calm down and then discuss it rationally, with a clear head. I explain this technique to the kids to and that's how we see it. I never say, you've got a time out, I always say, "I think you need to go to your room and calm down a bit". A lot of the time I will say "You can come out when you feel calmer and we can talk about this then". But sometimes I say "You need to stay in there for 5 minutes and I'll be in to see you then". This works well with Em whose emotions can sometimes get the better of her and she actually finds it a helpful technique. She'll often take herself to her room and say "I just need some time by myself". Because we've consistently used this technique and had this dialogue over the years, she's now able to recognise her feelings and regulate her own behaviour. Which I think is the ultimate goal of any behaviour guidance.

What tips do you have to get more co-operation at your house?

Making A Recipe Book

Em has always loved to help in the kitchen and lately she has felt confident enough to try recipes on her own. I thought it would be nice for her to make a recipe book where she could write down the recipes she enjoys. I was wanting a recipe book for myself too - to hold all those delicious dishes that take my fancy in the hundreds of food magazines I buy. I thought it would be a nice idea to sit down and make our books together.

I collected up a couple of exercise books, some scissors, glue and some catalogues and food magazines.


We looked through the magazines together, cutting out pictures of food and ingredients we liked and then organised them to cover the books.


I needed to show Em how to think about where to put the pictures once they were cut out, but she soon got the hang of it. She actually took off the pictures we'd laid out together and started again on her own.

Here's the finished products:



To protect our books, we covered them in clear contact.

This was a great activity because it:

• Worked on fine motor skills and eye-hand co-ordination
• Helped with spatial awareness
• Built on creative expression
• Enabled Em to practice her planning skills
• Gave us a lovely opportunity to spend some quality time together, sharing something we both enjoy.

Ed wanted to have a go too, but he didn't see his book through to the end. As with most 4 year olds, he was just happy to sit alongside us cutting and gluing, exploring and experimenting until he had had enough. Unlike his 7 year old sister who was quite focused on her outcome, Ed was more interested in the process.

It's so important to not discount the experience of this type of activity for younger children, just because a tangible outcome isn't produced. It was still a valuable experience for him as he:

• Spent time with his Mum and Sister
• Practiced gluing and cutting
• Talked about all the things he saw in the magazines
• Discussed what he likes and doesn't like
• Shared his knowledge and learnt more about food groups and nutrition.

It's great how one activity can have such wonderful benefits for 2 children at completely different stages of development.

A Beady Good Time

When Em had her 6th birthday, she had some friends round and I bought a few bags of beads to put into a large bowl so they could all do some threading together. Those beads got put into some containers and put into the cupboard and during the holidays, we re-discovered them again.

I got the box out, which was a great big mess, and left Em to thread on her own. She decided she wanted to sort through the beads instead, so I got out a bunch of plastic containers form the recycling box in the cupboard and we started to sort.

We sorted them into colours and had a great time looking at each one and talking about the shapes, sizes and colours.


After a while Ed joined in too.

When we'd finished the kids made some necklaces for their teddies.

Ed had never done anything like this before and I was actually surprised how much he enjoyed it.

Luckily, we still have lots of beads left to do some more threading soon.

We're Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo ......

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

How about you, you, you
You can come too, too, too
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

Don't you just love that song? I do. It's a firm favourite.

Well, during the holidays, we went to the zoo, zoo, zoo - two zoos in fact. The good old Melbourne Zoo and our first trip out to Healesville Sanctuary, which was very delightful and well worth checking out.

In the days following, there were many discussions centred around animals and early one morning, Ed decided he'd like to make his own zoo using our plastic animals.

I helped to set up some enclosures.

We used some great wooden fences



Some old gift boxes



Some upside-down Frisbees



Even some rocks and a blue face washer



I went out into the garden to cut some foliage to make the enclosures seem a little more realistic (and so the animals had something to eat).



When it was finished, Ed drove his cars around the zoo and played out some "family" games with the animals.

Then big sister came along and decided she would like a zoo they could actually walk through. So we packed away the smaller animals and raided the soft toys to see what we could find.

We then set up a bigger zoo that spread through out the whole lounge room.

There was room for monkeys to swing



And pandas to roam



And bears in a cave



And a big pool for the penguins and turtles



I included toilets for the teddies



And a cafe (because no trip to the zoo is complete without a yummy snack), where a fresh morning tea was served after a morning of animal watching and holding.






The children made some signs and got out their cash register. They even made a map.



Then it was time to find some cameras and binoculars and take Hamley and Yarji to the zoo.



It was a great fun morning of play with lots of thinking, talking, remembering, drawing, imagining and learning going on.

And the best bit was, they didn't even have to get out of their pyjamas.

I'm playing along at

Learning to Play

Things are changing in the Butler household. My Em is now 7 years old and in the last few weeks or so I've noticed I'm not needed so much at play time when she's around. It seems my years of hard work focussed on encouraging play have truly paid off and Em now runs around finding resources and coming up with play ideas for her and her brother that are above and beyond anything I'm capable of.

As regular readers of this blog would know, I've always put a lot of thought and effort into my children's play. I think about how I organise their toys, what toys they have accessible to them, what other props I can add, what they're interests are and how they like to play. I set up play scenes to stimulate learning and creativity. I love to listen in on their little play scenarios and think about things I can add or bring into their play so they can benefit from what they are doing even more.

I keep checking in on their play as I always have but where I used to offer ideas or help find materials, Em has it all under control now and I find myself hanging around on the outskirts, marvelling at the ideas they've come up with, but a little bit sad that I'm not included as much any more.

Though a part of me longs for the days I was in there with my sleeves pulled up, feeding off their creativity and ideas to make a play scenario bigger and better, I am bursting with pride at the creative, play-loving little girl my daughter has become.

All of those years of fostering interests, collecting resources, encouraging independent play and negotiating arguments have finally meant I can have a few peaceful hours to myself without lifting a single finger. Bliss!! Now I just have to work on the packing up ...........

Homemade Party Hats for Furry Friends

Once upon a time there was a three year old girl named Em who loved to throw birthday parties for all of her soft toy friends almost EVERY SINGLE DAY!



Her mum would help her to organise some 'party food' (using plastic food, real food or playdough), make invitations, blow up balloons, find a make-do cake and invent party games. Her mum would also buy her cardboard party hats for her party guests to wear.

Mum liked to encourage this sort of play because she knew:

• it was a great boost to Em's self-esteem as she got to pretend to be the adult and boss her toys around
• it helped her girl to practice pre-literacy skills as she 'wrote out' invitations
• it was sometimes a great fun art and craft activity when Em felt like making fancy invitations
• her daughter would talk and talk and talk the whole way through the party which was great for her language skills
• it helped Em to process what she understood about social rules and interactions as she sorted out problems that arose between her furry friends
• her little girl was building on all of her fine motor skills as she set things up and made the things she needed
• Em's memory, recall and imagination were getting a big boost too as she remembered what happens at a party and invented her story for the day
• once she was set up and happy with how things were going, Em would spend an hour or so playing on her own as long as mum checked in every now and then
• and it was a whole lot of fun!!

One day, Mum got sick of buying party hats and decided Em could make her own. So, Mum went out and bought a packet of plastic, disposable picnic bowls.

When Mum got home, she turned each of the bowls upside-down and punched a hole in either side with a hole punch. Then Em helped her mum tie some elastic onto each hat.



After that, Em got busy with her art and craft ideas (with a little help getting set-up) and decorated a hat for each of her friends. She put stickers on some and stuck flowers and ribbons on others. It was a great art and craft activity that kept her busy for quite a while.



Those hats are still in the dress-up box today, four years later and, luckily, those furry friends haven't grown a bit!

Some Tips to Encourage Independent Play

Following on from my last post, I thought I would share with you a response I gave to someone who contacted me about some tips to encourage her child to play independently.

The little girl in question was around 2 years old, a lover of dinosaurs and a confident, secure child, except when she was at home with mum. Her mum was doing all the right things. She was very in-tune with her daughter's interests, took her to the library, rotated her toys and had always encouraged her to play for periods of time on her own. But lately she had been particularly clingy and was wanting mum to play with her ALL THE TIME!

Here is what I suggested (with a few little tweaks). I've also changed names, because in these times of extreme privacy it seems like the right thing to do.

Hi Sally,
It's pretty normal for Bella to enjoy playing more with you than with herself at her age. From what you've told me, it sounds like she is really starting to enjoy imaginative play and when she plays with you, the stories and characters you make up are probably quite creative and involved. Then when it comes to playing by herself, she may just be having a little trouble keeping herself amused with her own imagination and it's easier if mum does it! This is perfectly normal because her imagination is only just starting to develop. There are lots of things you can do to help her along.

Firstly, don't feel guilty about saying 'no' to her. Teaching her to play independently is a wonderful skill to learn. You're helping her to develop her inner dialogue, her imagination and creativity as well as the confidence to feel comfortable with her own company. Not to mention the self-esteem that comes with working things out and accomplishing things independently. These are great gifts.

The hard part is weaning her off of playing with you. A nice way to go about it is to use a timer. You can say something along the lines of "Mummy has some jobs to do, but I'm going to put this timer on (use the oven timer or a wind up one if you have it), and when the timer goes off, it's going to be Mummy and Bella time and we can do something together".

Then set the timer and go about some jobs as best as you can until the timer goes off.
It's best to ignore resistance as much as you can and just keep reassuring her you will play when the timer goes. It's probably best to set the timer for ten or twenty minutes to start with (whatever you feel she's ready for), so she gets the hang of how it works, then gradually make the time longer and longer. Don't worry too much if she doesn't play at first while she's waiting, she will eventually go and play once she realises you mean business and she gets bored. You could set up a little play scene with her dinosaurs close by and suggest she play there while she waits for you.

For the time being, I would perhaps avoid playing pretend games with her when the timer goes off and use your time together to do a puzzle or play a simple board game. That way, she will associate these things with time spent with you, rather than the imaginative games. It makes pretend play games her domain, which will encourage her to develop these games on her own, becoming less reliant on you.

The other thing you can work on is helping her to develop her imaginative play stories. I do this a lot with my kids. When you are in the kitchen or the family room and catch her involved in her dinosaur play for example, it's great to ask her questions about what is going on to help her develop the story. This also helps to reassure her that you are close by and interested in what she is doing. For example things like "How are the dinosaurs today?" "What's the orange one up to over there", "He sounds cross, what's happened?", "Is she having a swim in the water?". Questions and comments that observe the play Bella is involved in and encourage her to develop the story more on her own.

Another thing I would suggest is perhaps seeing how Bella goes having her toys rotated less frequently. At her age, she will probably enjoy going back to the same toys over and over again. I have found with both of my kids that once they got to around 2, they would play with "pretend play" toys every day and it would be the same ones over and over again.

Children love to re-visit things they've done, pick up where they've left off and recall stories they've made up before. It's a really important part of their brain development. Toys that are great to leave out all the time are basically ones that have unlimited uses - things like plastic animals and dinosaurs, cars, trains, babies and baby accessories, dress-ups and "home corner" play things. You'll know when she is getting bored with these things because her play will stop being as constructive and that's when it's a good time to find new things to do by rotating toys or adding new props.

I hope these tips are helpful. You sound like a switched on mum, very in tune with her little girl and from what you've told me, it sounds like you have a great relationship. As I mentioned earlier, playing independently and enjoying your own company is a wonderful thing to learn and I'm sure it will be only a matter of time before Bella is spending hours playing on her own and you're seeking her out to find out what she's up to. I'd love to hear how you go.

Kind Regards
Belinda

I've had some feedback from 'Sally' and apparently, after some persistence and a few months of sticking to these tips, 'Bella' is again enjoying busy, independent play. Hurray for everyone!

June Practical Parenting

I have an article in 'Practical Parenting' this month, so check it out if you get a chance. It includes some 'Rainy Day Play Ideas' for both babies and toddlers.

It can be tricky trying to find play ideas that suit a wide variety of age groups. I had my own dilemma last week when I had Em home with a cold, Ed, of course, and my 15 month old god daughter to look after.

I got them busy doing a group drawing. I put a large sheet of cardboard onto the ground to provide a firm backing for the paper. Then I spread out a large sheet of paper so that there was plenty of room for everybody. I grabbed Em's texta bucket to share and left them all to it. They were just in the dining room while I was in the kitchen, so I was close by if I was needed.



They all had a really great time and there were no dramas. Em helped my god-daughter with the texta lids and also talked a lot about colours and what everyone was drawing. Ed helped out too.

It was a great activity to keep them busy and help practice drawing skills, but it also provided a great opportunity to build on language skills and encouraged social skills like peer-teaching, considering others and sharing.

The Rock Box

Do you like collecting things?

We do, big time!

One of our favourite collections at the moment, something we all seem to be interested in, is Ed's rock collection.



His interest in rocks began at a very young age when he would seek them out and try to eat them. Needless to say, I wasn't encouraging this interest too much when he was sampling the objects of his interest, but as soon as he stopped putting them into his mouth and started to admire their colours, sizes and textures, I started to help him look for his little 'treasures' at every opportunity.

To encourage his interest along, I bought him a special little rock box to keep his rocks in. As you can see from the photo, he has outgrown it and next time we're out, we need to find a new box to keep them in.



Collections like this are great because
1. When you're collecting items from nature, they're absolutely free
2. It gives us something to bond over. We find them together and talk about them and it's nice.
3. It encourages him to notice what's around him and helps him to appreciate nature
4. He loves to look through his rocks, remembering where he got them from (great for his recall and language skills)
5. He likes to sort through them and group them according to size, shape and colour (and sorting and classifying are great pre-numeracy skills)
6. They always get included in his play (building on imagination and creativity)

What do you like to collect at your house?

More Teddy Bear Fun

As I mentioned last week, Hamley (Em's teddy) and Yarji (Ed's teddy) had been dressed up and dragged into Em's 'school' game which has been on the go, morphing, changing and evolving for well over 6 months.

A new chapter has begun with the inclusion of the teddies, a spin-off of some sorts called 'The Teddy Bear Game' (original, I know!). It seems that dressing the teddies and getting them off to school every morning has inspired Em to create more of a story about where they live and how they get ready and so the new game was created.

As soon as the inspiration hit, I had to drop everything and help her to get out an old baby nursery that she used a lot from about the age of 2 til about 5.



We set it up in the loungeroom and she rummaged through a plastic container full of baby care items I had put together when she was going through her 'baby play' stage. It includes baby nappies, bottles, bibs, baby jumpsuits and cardigans, booties, empty baby food jars, spoons, and blankets.

She set herself up and included Hamley's dress up clothes. She was so excited and I was struck by how enthusiastically she resumed the same kind of play she used to engage in at a much younger age. Of course, the play itself has changed. Her story is much more involved and the play is far more organised and sophisticated, but all the materials are the same.

Em's play here is such a great example of how toys and play materials that are truly open-ended, can be adapted and used to suit a wide range of developmental stages and ages.

What toys do you have that will/or already do stand the test of time?

Come over and play at the 'Childhood 101' 'We Play' link up

Two of Our Favourite (Play) Things

Em and Ed both have teddies that they adore. This is Hamley (Em's teddy on the right) and Yarji (pronounced Yar-gee,on the left, who belongs to Ed). I have posted about Hamley before, when, after a trip to the craft store, Em came up with a new outfit for him. Well, there have been many outfits in-between, but I couldn't resist this photo yesterday, after the children had dressed their bears ready to go to Em's pretend school.

We have a small suitcase full of teddy clothes that I have collected on my trips over the years. I just love coming accross little things to add to the collection because teddy clothes are generally pretty hard to find. We have some great hand-made cardigans and beanies and my mum knitted the little scarves you can see above. My favourite find would have to be these teddy underpants I found at the local market. The children love them too.



I often call these two teddies my other children. They go everywhere with us, they are involved in a lot of the children's games, they are an absolute necessity at bedtime and as you can see, I shop for them as though they belonged to me.

They both have their own little voices and personalities too. "Hamley" can be a bit short tempered and only likes to eat "cakes and lollies and biscuits" which results in Em having to encourage him to control his temper and constantly educate him about nutrition. "Yarji" can be easily frightened and is often a little cheeky when he's meant to be behaving himself. Ed is constantly reassuring him when he's scared and reminding him how to behave.

So they are not only great friends and companions, encouraging comfort, thoughtfulness and empathy, but also great teaching and learning tools as well.

Does your child have a furry friend they wouldn't be without?

Come over and play at the 'Childhood 101' 'We Play' link up

I'm Playing Along at Childhood 101

Christie at Childhood 101 has created "We Play", as a special part of her great blog. It's a weekly link up where people can share their play experiences and ideas. I think it's a wonderful idea and I'm glad to be a part of it.

Christie says in her post introducing the idea that she believes play is a child's 'work'. I absolutely believe that too. It's what they do to grow, learn and develop. It also gives them a sense of purpose and helps them to work out their place in the world, just to mention a few of it's benefits.

But, as parents, I also believe it's kinda our 'work' too. When we bring these wonderful, sweet beings into the world, it's our job to care for them, to love them and to help them grow. So, it's our work and responsibility to take play seriously, to encourage it, allow time for it, to value it and nurture it and to advocate it's importance at every opportunity.

So well done Christie and everyone else who is getting involved. Here is my favourite play experience from our house this week.



What's going on here?

I made these 'roads' last year sometime. They usually live outside, but with the weather being so cold and wet here in Melbourne at the moment, I've let a few outside toys come in. This has given these roads a new lease on life. They have been used as roads/ramps/bridges and platforms leading down from our stairs.

The kids have put various things underneath them as support (you can see a couch cushion here) and have used small and large cars, animals and trains with them.

These two humble pieces of wood have led to many discussions about scientific ideas (physics mostly) and how to solve problems. These discussions have naturally arisen as the play has gone along and my two don't even really realise the learning that is going on.

You see, big cars don't drive so well on the narrow pieces of wood, so their configuration needed to be modified for that. Some cars veer off, so that needed to be fixed with some angle adjustments. Sometimes Ed wants the cars to go fast, other times slow and again, modifications need to be made. He has solved all of these problems on his own or with a bit of help from his big sister and while doing so has cemented a foundation for scientific learning later in his life.

All the while, the kids have been strengthening fine motor skills while moving the objects around, building on language skills while talking to each other about what might happen, what has happened and how things need to change. Not to mention working on social skills as use of equipment is negotiated and conflicts are resolved.

So, two pieces of wood sanded and painted equals lots of learning and lots of fun.

Come over and play at the 'Childhood 101' 'We Play' link up

May Practical Parenting

I have an article in May's Practical Parenting which is out now.



It's all about "Doll Washing" which is a great fun thing to do either outside or at bath time, with lots of learning opportunities involved. It's also especially relevant to young children who have just had a baby brother or sister come into the home.

Em took great care of her baby dolls when Ed was born. She fed them when I fed Ed, bathed them, changed them, read to them and loved them, while I was doing the same for her new baby brother. It not only kept her busy and out of mischief, it gave her an opportunity to play out what she was seeing me do, which helped her to process what was going on. It also helped her to understand the love and caring required for a new baby and helped her to feel she was being important and included too. It was easy to interact with her while she was alongside me and we could talk about what we were doing together.

Here is a photo of us sharing bath time at the kitchen sink. Ed was only about 4 weeks old.

Packing Up

Packing away toys at the end of a busy day of play is a job no-one in our house enjoys. The majority of the time, the children are encouraged to clean up after themselves and take responsibility for their own belongings, but I understand that sometimes it's hard to be motivated to pack up, especially when there are a lot of toys to go away.

For these tough times, I've invented a game we like to call "Job Step". It's quite a bit of fun and doesn't actually involve me doing any of the tidying, I just need to be around to run the game. I think it's effective because it breaks down the task of packing up (which can be overwhelming for young children) and gives an extra motivation for packing up (because, let's face it, when you're 3 and 6 years old, the prospect of tidy lounge room is not motivation enough!).

How we play:
- We have some steps going down to our lounge room, so the children sit on the "job step" (hence the name) and await their instructions.
- I then assign each child a small, easy job. I say it in a quick, fun way though, so it sort of sounds like a race eg. I'll say "Right, Em, put all the plastic animals back in their container, go!" "Ed, take your shoes to your bedroom, go!"
- They then rush around, completing their task until it's all done, then run back to their step to wait for their next job.

It's a really simple way to manage packing up time and the kids love it. Sometimes I make it a bit fun and silly by commentating on the packing up like a horse racing race -caller and other times we have a tiny sticker at the end of each job. But most of the time, we just play the simple version and the packing away is done before we know it.

School's Out But At Our House It's In

Well, we are having a lovely break from the daily grind of school lunches, uniforms, dropping off and picking up. But here at my house, we haven't left school behind altogether.

We have had a school corner set up in our loungeroom for about the last 4 or so months and it has been used a lot in the last week since we got back from our trip away.

The school corner came about when I got an old school desk and some chairs from a friend. I set it up in the loungeroom when em was having some friends over to celebrate her birthday. It never got packed away because it became a great place for the kids to draw and create which saved my dining room table.

It wasn't long before Em asked me to get out her whiteboard so she could play 'schools'. I also added whiteboard markers, rulers, calculators, pens, pencils, stickers and a few notebooks. The area has been used almost every day since.

Sometimes Ed Is the student, sometimes her toys are, sometimes I am, and a lot of the time she plays there by herself. It's been a great place for Em to play out and process all that has happened to her in her first year of school and, during the holidays, it's been a great way for her to revisit what happens at school when she's thinking about being there.

This is what it looked like when it was first set up. It's not quite as tidy now...


When I ran my own kinder room I would always set up the dramatic play area as a classroom in the last term. It would give the kids a chance to play out the big change that was about to happen for them. It also enabled the kids who had older siblings and knew a bit about school to pass on some of what they knew to the students that didn't and it also allowed for questions and concerns to naturally come up and be dealt with.

I set it up much the same as the one I've done for Em at home only I would include uniforms, school bags and lunch boxes. All of these things need time and practice to get used to.

If you've got a little one starting school for the first time this year or have some bigger ones who are a bit bored and missing school, a school corner at home could be just what your house needs.

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The Water Boy

When I found my little boy in the bathroom sink the other day, up to his elbows in water, I knew it was time to save myself and the bathroom and set up some water play (again!). I have done this for him so many times now and he really does love it. The weather is perfect at the moment, so I got out my plastic tubs, set up two tables (because his sister was home) and collected up all of the water toys I could get my hands on.


Usually I would set up something with a specific goal in mind, but he has done it so many times now, I decided to get the toys out and let him decide what path the play would take. This helps him use some extra thinking skills as he remembers what he has done before and works out how to achieve what he has planned.

Getting out quite a few different play things also meant that Em could play what she liked at her level and wasn't stuck with what Ed wanted to do.

They both chose different toys and played different types of games. Sometimes they worked together and played different roles in the same story, other times they went solo and did their own things. They both had loads of fun though and played happily for quite a long time on the deck. It was a great way to have them both busy while still allowing them to play at their own developmental level.

What we did on Tuesday

I'm committed to setting up a play experience for Ed everyday this week and I have to admit, yesterday was a real challenge. I work on Monday and Tuesday morning at the local community centre where I run a couple of play-based kid's activity groups. Ed comes along to both of these groups and so by Tuesday afternoon, we are both exhausted.

He put himself to bed as soon as we got home and slept for 2 hours before we had to rush off to get Em from school. After school, we headed off to the library to get some more car and truck books (I can't believe he's not sick of them yet - we keep getting the same ones!!) and then home to make dinner and have a bath.

I decided to squeeze his activity into bath time. There are so many lovely activities you can set up in the bath and most children just love playing with water - it is one of Ed's favourite things to.

I collected up a bunch of plastic containers big and small as well as some disposable plastic plates I had left over from birthday parties. I then got together some plastic animals of varying shapes and sizes. I just put them on the edge of the bath and left the kids to work out what they wanted to do.

Of course, Ed complained that there weren't any cars, but he was happy to just play with the animals for a change. I sat for a while and we talked about sinking and floating and how many animals could fit in the container. We explored concepts of heavy and light, sinking and floating, in and out and large and small, by just letting the kids experiment while we talked about what they were doing. When the experimentation was over, Em and Ed created their own imaginative play game where the animals would travel in their boats to get to an island. The big animals were the 'Mummies" and the small animals were the 'Babies'. Here, they were working on their social skills and developing their self-esteem and sense of self. There is so much learning and developing to be had in imaginative play games and the wonderful thing about siblings is that they learn so much from each other (with a little help from mum of course!).

Birthday Traditions

I've read many articles over the years about the importance of establishing family traditions. They have huge developmental benefits by giving children a sense of belonging and adding to self esteem. They also help to create a sense of family unity and culture. My husband and I have created a few traditions over the years as well as carrying on some from our own families.

My little girl celebrated her sixth birthday on Saturday and it really brought home to me just how important traditions can be and for the first time, I could see how kids benefit form them with my own eyes. Em is old enough now to remember birthdays that have been and gone, and given the fact that Ed had his birthday back in June, Em was able to remember a lot of the things we did for him and she was really excited that it was her turn this time.

I was quite surprised actually at what these little traditions meant to her and she was so keen and eager to be a part of them. It added to her excitement and she had a strong sense of feeling special and being a part of something bigger. It was a really lovely weekend for our family.

We don't do anything major, but these were the things Em was really looking forward to and couldn't wait to be a part of.

Some of our "Butler Family Birthday Traditions":
- Choosing a birthday cake - Growing up, whenever a birthday would roll around, mum would always let us look through her "Women's Weekly" birthday cake book and choose the cake we wanted. It didn't matter how difficult it was, mum would always have a go. I remember loving this as a child. It really did make me feel special and I loved knowing that mum would happily make whatever cake we wanted, just to make our day as special as she could. I've tried to do the same for my kids and my sister does it for her kids too.

- Presents on the coffee table - I didn't really mean for this to become a tradition, but it has taken on a bit of a life of it's own. The night before each child's birthday, I'll wrap the presents and collect up any that have come from family interstate. They all go onto the coffee table for excited little ones to find first thing in the morning. It comes with a very strict "look but don't touch" rule, which has worked well for us so far.

- "The last day I'm 5" - the night before the birthday, I take a photo of the children on the last day before they turn a year older. I always have a little chat to them about what has happened through the year just gone and encourage them to reflect on what they've enjoyed. I record this in a little notebook I've had since they were young.

- The Birthday interview - folowing on from that, since Em's fourth birthday, I've asked her some interview questions and written down her answers. I think she will enjoy looking back on them as she gets older and she can see how she is growing and changing. They're pretty simple questions like - Your favourite food, colour, friends, toys, but I may make them a little more involved as she gets bigger. I think self-reflection is such a lovely thing to nurture.

- Family time - whether we have a party or not, we always spend some time together as a family on the weekend before or after the birthday and try to have a special outing. In the past few years, we've taken Em to the Melbourne show but this year we went bowling.

- Birthday dinner - Again, regardless of what else has gone on, we always have a family dinner on Birthday night and the person who is celebrating gets to choose exactly what we have. This is always followed up by a cake, which means I am often stuck making two cakes for one birthday, but looking at that little smile as she blows out the candles, surrounded by the people who love her makes it all worth it!!

What birthday traditions do you have in your family? I would love to hear about them.